voyeur

THEME SONG FOR THE DAY:

1. "Guaranteed" by Eddie Vedder, from the soundrack "Into the Wild"
   

ACLAND STREET ROOFTOP

Today I people-watched.

This afternoon the sun broke through they grey of this morning, and so I ventured down to Acland Street in St Kilda, the wonderful little corner of the world that my Dad affectionately calls "The Armpit of the World".

It is such a surreal little stretch of asphalt, the gaping maw of Luna Park welcoming you to an avenue lined with cakeshops and coffeeshops and bookstores and boutiques. Garish characters on rooftops leer at you and wander the street muttering to themselves, while artists and musicians and other denizens of bohemia sit and sip on flat white coffees, passionately discussing existentialism, politics, music and art.

This trip to Melbourne has so far been a wonderful whirlwind of reunions with family and friends, a blur of lattes and pints of beer and delicious meals shared with warm conversations and catchings-up. I feel like I could quite easily spend the whole of the next 12 months looking up old friends and acquaintances... It would be so easy, and so safe to just stay here...

As I wandered through the streets and gardens today, I observed myself observing others, a surreal feeling of watching a movie that is playing out in real time right before your eyes, except that you are participating, and watching, all at the same time; a lucid dream, except that I am wide-awake...

...a now-familiar feeling has been growing in my belly - it is the feeling that bubbles up to my conscious thought stream and whispers "I am no longer here". I am ready to move on.

Being a happy child surrounded by loving family in Hawaii is a blessing that I shall always treasure - all my childhood memories are full of joy and laughter. You don't truly appreciate the beauty of a place until you leave it.

As little people we all make decisions about ourselves, other people, and the world based upon our experiences, that shape our thinking, and therefore our words, actions, and habbits....and therefore our REALITY.

The despair, angst and sheer anger that I felt during my teen years served to drive much of the outward material successes I enjoyed in my 20s, though has long since faded. Anger, when focused to a point, can create positive results. The problem is that anger is a poor foundation upon which to build a legacy, and, when suppressed, will explode violently.

This stands in stark contrast to my current experience of Melbourne: peaceful, joyful, and connected. I have made my peace with this city, and with the experiences and emotions of the past.

Today I wandered and watched, enjoying the simplest details - snippets of conversations overheard in the street, the laughs of a young family tending to their plot in the community garden, the cacophony of screeching seagulls and cawing crows bathed in the soft, warm glow of the afternoon sun. The big, cold blue sky stretches far away above me, fading into deep indigos as the quiet drama of another Melbourne sunset slips away on the horizon.

"...A mind full of questions
And a teacher in my Soul..."
- "Guaranteed", from the soundtrack "Into The Wild"
by Eddie Vedder -

THE ARMPIT OF LUNA PARK

# # #

The Story Behind TheGreenBackpack...

EVENTS LEADING UP TO BIRTH OF "THEGREENBACKPACK"

The GreenBackpack was born out of a desire to create an underlying purpose to the world travel that I am planning.

This trip could simply be a romp throughout the world, drunken night after drunken night at hostel after hostel meeting new people, exploring new places, and creating new adventures....or, I can encompass these elements of travel [in sober moderation, of course], and direct my wanderlust so that my travels can be used as a vehicle to increase my own knowledge and value in an area that I have long been interested: sustainability.

Sustainability has become a buzz word in recent times, and it can be easy to think of "sustainability" simply as "environmentalism", or "eco-friendly". However, to me, sustainability encompasses so much more than "going green".....

Put the word "sustainable" in front of any of the following words, and you cast a renewed focus onto another aspect of the sustainability movement: capitalism, charitable work, entrepreneurship, environment, education, economy, philosophy, philanthropy, social responsibility, social ventures, even....wait for it....spirituality.

So, while this journey is about me diving into these things that interest me, and inviting you to come along and learn with me......it is also an outward expression of the journey I am taking within to explore myself:

What passions do I want to follow? What do I want to experience? Will I retreat into the wild? Will I come back? Who will I be when I come back?

Therefore the blog is a travelog, a spiritual diary, a research paper, and hopefully a forum where those of us who find ourselves asking these same questions can discuss and debate and collaborate and connect and explore together.

Here's the rough plan for 2009 thus far....of course, this is subject to change each day as the road is constantly changing and has already started to unfold and reveal its treasures and challenges before me:

1. Depart Honolulu April 20th, 2009 to Melbourne, Australia to celebrate my brother's 30th birthday and spend about a month with Mum, Dad and Sis. Road trips and re-connecting with family / friends.
   
2. June / July - road trip up to Sydney. Hope to spend a month training chi-kung and some kung-fu with my teachers who live there.
   
3. July / August - road trip up to QLD to visit family and friends. Explore the surrounding countryside, specifically want to learn more about aquaponics while in Australia. , camp on beaches that stretch to the horizon both ways, and do some WWOOFing.
4. August / September - travel through the Red Center to visit Ayers Rock. Sleep under the southern sky in the Australian outback. I wonder if I could work on a cattle ranch and learn to drove cattle on horseback?
5. September / October - meet my uncle in the Phillipines to explore my Filipino ancestry. Visit a friend's Eco-Resort that is under construction.
6. Oct / Nov - am looking into ways I can teach English in rural Japan for short stint, no longer than 2 months. I want to live on a small Japanese farm and experience the lifestyle.
7. Dec - spend Christmas season with family friends in Bali.

The rough plan for 2010? Travel through SE Asia to rural Thailand to teach English for a month, visit Bangledesh and learn more about Grameen Bank's microfinance projects, study meditation and yoga in India, then make my way to Europe which I have been longing to explore for quite some time.

It will be very interesting to see how European society is adapting to the changing world, and how a cap-and-trade economy has affected small business, especially since the Obama administration has listed implementing carbon cap-and-trade initiatives into the US Economy as a priority.

The final leg of my journey back to Hawaii will be through North and South America, on motorcycle, WWOOFing and Couchsurfing my way across the continent.

Along the way, I will seek out and explore people and projects that are making a positive difference in the world...which is the simple truth driving the entire sustainability movement:

"How do we love all the children of all species for all time?"
-William McDonough, author of "Cradle to Cradle: Remaking the way we Make Things

Come along for the ride!


Sincerely,

Matthew K Lynch
thegreenbackpack.com

I am no longer here

CONTEMPLATION NOW BEGINNING,
KEEP THE RYTHYM FLOWING...

I am no longer here. People see me and hug me and and converse with me, but it is clear to me that I am no longer here.

I am already on the road. The wind is in my face, my clothes are dusty, and I am in need of a bath and a place to sleep. I am happy.

My reading list grows: Anais Nin, Anthony DeMello, more Kerouac, Thoreau, Carlos Castaneda, the Gnostics....."Into the Wild", holy cow what a powerful movie.....and of course my dear old friend Coelho....the books, it seems, are finding me.

Financial reports that used to be my daily reading fill my InBox and are deleted with nary a second thought. Instead, I devour tales from the road of spiritual journeys and adventure. Paulo Coelho writes as though he is speaking directly to my soul; I am lost in his tales of magic and discovery...

Responsibilities and commitments that I have made are in danger of falling to the wayside, and it gets more difficult with each passing day to focus on those tasks. Let me wander in nature instead!

I fall into a conversation with a visiting fellow soul-searcher who is interested in learning about investing in real estate. That part of my brain launches into automatic dialogue with him about how I got started and succeeded, mistakes I've made that he doesn't have to, current market conditions, etc etc etc ....and I observe myself with a curious detachment and voyeuristic fascination at how a topic that was once so exciting to me has become so dull....in spite of the knowledge and familiarity that I have accumulated in that area.

Money no longer interests me. Life interests me. What is right in front of me, at any given moment, has become fascinating.

A butterfly fluttered its way into the shop I was watching yesterday, and I watched in simple amazement as he browsed all the antique furniture and buddha statues that fill the showroom.

I find myself looking forward to the next time I am riding my motorcycle, or sailing on the ocean with the salty breeze in my face, or breathing the cool mountain air on a hike somewhere, or diving into the azure waters below Diamond Head...

And cooking dinner! I forgot how much I enjoy creating something delicious, experimenting in my skillet to blend flavors and textures and cultures....

And sharing coffee and conversations with loved ones...loving and accepting them for who they are vs who you would like them to be...meeting new people who are on similar journeys of discovery, and sharing the awe in their eyes as the simple beauty of life unfolds around us...

My life looks so much different today than it did two years ago. Looking back at my writings, I realize that I began to explore creation vs consumption, contribution vs accumulation years ago, as I was building towards my first million...and now that I have let go and have nothing, I get to immerse myself in that exploration.

What would it be like to live without money? The question is not so much could I do it....more so, how can I do it? Since I've torn down my life to its bare foundations, I get to rebuild however I want to:

What passions do I want to follow? What do I want to experience? Will I retreat into the wild? Will I come back? Who will I be when I come back? I get to come up with answers to these every day!

"The less I have, the happier I am."
-"Ingrid", my 80-year old muse and monthly lunchdate

Indeed.

HONOLULU INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT,
ONE OF MY FAVORITE PLACES ON EARTH...

Travelog Rediscovered...

TREE OF LIFE

Cleaning out 12 years of stuff I have accumulated living here, I came across an old travelog diary I kept when I backpacked New Zealand in 2003.

They say that we have the answers to all of the challenges we face already inside of us...we just need to ask the right questions. Interesting thing is, I'm still asking myself the same questions six years later...and am not entirely sure how I feel about that.

Had I become that comfortably numb? Am I just a lost soul swimming in a fishbowl - year after year [God Bless Pink Floyd] - living the same year over and over again, like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day??

Early in my mortgage career I had often questioned if "10 years experience" on my competition's business card meant the same year over and over 10 times, or if my competition was taking the necessary steps to learn, grow, innovate, and remain at the leading edge of their field.

Now I cringe at the thought of how I have spent the last 12 years learning about real estate & finance, and building for the future...at the expense of what lay right before me. About how I created an "Instant Family" for myself at the tender age of 20, wanting so badly to provide more options for my family and stepson that I worked countless hours for the future I dreamed about at the expense of being present with what was right in front of me, what I cared about most...

....and that being said, I would take none of it back.

Angry Woebots

WOEBOTS UNITE

I bought a painting in 2003 at a live art show in Chinatown called First Thursdays, when it was held at Studio One on King st in Chinatown back in the day serving beer out of giant fisherman's coolers and makeshit plywood bars....it has since grown into the largest registered Poetry Slam in the world and moved from Studio One to the Hawaiian Hut at Ala Moana Hotel.

The poets were passionate, some angry, some funny, and they all had something to say...the blank canvas was crafted  by the emotions  of each poet's words, and by the end of the  night an artistic phenomenon was born.

"BREAK YOUR REMOTE" calls to me across the room, me who has not owned a TV set for six years now, who hasbecome his father despite his furious efforts not to [television is EVIL and will rot your brain]...and I find myself purchasing my first piece of art.  

Two days later, the artist [Aaron Martin] rolls up to my house with the painting sticking out the back of  his mini-truck bed, all smiles and stoked that someone had actually purchased his work - his first sale.  

From a recent cover story article in the Honolulu MidWeek:

"...his trademark black-and-white panda paintings began as an accident.  “Originally I was going to paint a grizzly bear, but a friend of mine forgot to bring the paint I was waiting for,” says Martin, noting the only colors he had with him in large quantities were black and white. With the room packed and the pressure mounting, Martin had to make do with what he had.  “I was standing on the side, people were just staring at me, so I decided to change (the design) and make it into a panda.”

I am in awe of this man.  Here he is, pursuing his passion, making a good living doing what he loves....painting.    His passion has become his business.  In doing what he loves, he is able to make a good living.  I have looked him up today to help me sell my painting.

He says I look familiar, and when I tell him that I am the guys who bought his first painting, he is all smiles and stoked again, shakes by hand, gives me a hug and tells me that it is good to see me again.  Yes, his assistant did get the email I send him about 3 months ago explaining that I had hit upon hard times and don't want to sell the painting but need the cash....they have just been too busy tearing up the arts scene around the world to get back to me.  He tells me yes, of course he will help me out to sell my painting on his blog, it is THE original painting, and he tells me that I should go travel the world.

I am taken back to my drunken-stoned days in art school where the most important things we were concerned with were things like light & shadow, composition, and expressing form, where my self-induced bluriness lent me a clarity devoid of logic & reason.  Of couse, it makes sense to stop my studies, leave everything behind, and fly off to Hawaii to travel the world.

And then....I remember the conscious decision I made to take the path of entrepreneur rather than starving artist, and I feel again the frustration of having ignored my artistic impulses for the last 12 years.  I am standing before myself in a parallel dimension, a me who took the path of starving artist and "made it", because he is following his passion rather than finding things in his work to be passionate about.

And here I am 12 years later, leaving everything behind, flying off to see the world.....haunted by a quote I just read on a friend's blog:

I want to live like I travel, not wait until I travel to live.

And the doubt and the questions creep back in to my head....am I doing the right thing?  Won't I be losing momentum in my career?  Will I ever come back?  Am I running away or am I indeed taking a much-needed breather? blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah 

They say that fear [my mind] is the voice in your head that screams loudest, a great guide but a poor master.  They say that inution [my soul] is a soft, gentle, knowing whisper that is there when you quiet the incessant chatter.  

The quiet thoughts of travel have been whispered to me for the last twelve years of my life...

I will listen to my soul.